5 Reasons Hairy Men Make Better Husbands (Says Science)

Give us a furry chest or give us death.

We yearn for the good ol’ days when hairy chests and full beards were celebrated on men instead of, well, the rigorous manscaping that’s going on nowadays.

Not on our side with this one? Here are 5 reasons — proven by science — why hairy men make awesome life partners:

1. They’re masculine.

It’s true! Research shows 54 percent of women prefer a masculine man with facial hair over a guy who’s clean shaven. (And if the majority of women agree on this, then they can’t all be wrong, can they? We think not.)

2. They’re smart.

Find doctors and geniuses sexy? Chances are they’re hairy under those white coats. Research shows that body hair is connected to intelligence. Still not convinced? Another study found that the majority of members in Mensa — the largest IQ society in the world — also have thick body hair!

3. They’re hilarious.

Jason Mantzoukas, Will Ferrell, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Robin Williams, Jim Gaffigan and Zach Galifianakis have two things in common: They’re hilarious and they’re hairy. OK, so this isn’t exactly science, but whatever, it should be.

4. They’re into good causes.

When November rolls around you can see many men going all out with growing out their facial hair for “Movember” to promote awareness for prostate and testicular cancer. And a man who brings awareness to great causes is DEFINITELY marriage material.

5. They’re secure with themselves.

Currently the majority of millenial men — 57 percent, in fact — manscape. Want a man who doesn’t follow the status quo? Go hairy!